Casa’s Blog

A Life Abroad

His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy. There’s vomit on his sweater already, mom’s spaghetti…

So this morning started pretty well, I caught up for breakfast again with Brit Josh.  Nothing too fancy, just one of the many places that surround the good ol’ Sentinel Towers.  I don’t know how anyone can work night shifts and not go insane though 😛

I then was playing around on my computer and suddenly started to feel a headache coming on.  Quickly followed by all the other symptoms of a migrane…which sucked.  I tried to soldier on with the help of some disprin but in the end I decided to do what I do best. I turned the lights off and then went to sleep for a bit.  Of course when I woke up, I felt significantly better (sleep can fix all ;)) but the couple of hours I lost to sleep meant that I was never going to make the lunch I had planned with X.  Luckily, I was smart enough to cancel before I went to sleep…otherwise I could’ve looked like a right bastard.
Now I sit here eating my microwaved fried rice thanks to Uncle Ben (Uncle Ben being my favourite fictious family member food mascot here in the UK) and doing as I always do…using the internet.  I did join a rather funny facebook group yesterday though “You know you’ve studying (sic) abroad in the UK for a while when…” and I copy down below the list of relavent jokes to me so far.

1. One out of 4 words you hear in the streets is “fuck” or “fucking” (N.B this is also true for Australia so it isn’t the facebook groups best one!)
2. You have tried the symbol of British food, a breaded piece of fish with fries and they call it “fish & chips”.
3. You see semi-naked girls in the streets and boys wearing t-shirts with temperatures below zero.
4. You are shocked to see that the Uni is closed, city is collapsed and people stranded if streets are covered with more that 5 cm of snow.
5. You have travelled to London just for 1 pound with a fun fare, and you love it. (Well actually mine was ‘from london’ but same/diff :P)
6. You wake up every morning knowing that it’s quite unlikely that you’re going to see the sun.
7. You drink pints every day and you love them
8. You see people having a pee while they get money from a cash machine.
9. You realize that dinner time is 6pm
10. You see people drunk in the streets at 8pm.
11. N/A
12. You are kicked out of a pub at 11.30 pm
13. You have learned the difference between pasty and pastry and you’ve tried a Cornish Pasty.
14. N/A
15. You’ve said “cheers mate” more than twice (Again, I say this A LOT in Oz anyway…)
16. N/A
17. You realize the most important religion is not Christianity but Rugby.
18. N/A
19. You wonder why the concept of “proper curtains” hasn’t arrived to this country yet.
20. You hear and say “sorry” at least 10 times a day.
21. You’ve seen naked women on the second (and first, and third…) page of the daily newspapers.
22. After a failed conversation with someone in the street you wonder whether he/she was speaking in Scottish, Gaelic, Welsh, Cornish, Irish or English.
23. N/A
24. You have struggled trying to convert from Farenhait to Celcius, from Miles to Kilometers and from Pounds to Euros, but you know a pint is 0.56 litres.
25. N/A
26. You have seen old people smiling at you in the street
27. You have been asked for “some spare change” by an unknown person.
28. You see 3 kebab shops and 2 indian restaurants in every street.
29. You’ve had a Full English Breakfast with bacon, eggs, sausages, beans, etc and you think it’s amazing
30. You’ve had a burger, chips and beans on the same plate.
31. You’ve thought more than ten times that the car you have just seen was driven by nobody
32. You have tried to destroy the fire alarm at least a couple of times. (HELL YES!)
33. You have wondered about the wildlife present in your carpet.
34. You see a group of people wearing fancy dresses every time you go out at night.
35. N/A
36. You think you’re going to visit a palace, a castle or a chapel and you only see a few old stones.
37. You realize that taking a cab is almost free (according to a certain person from Norway). (Actually cabs are really cheap, but i think it is more the fact that as the city is so small compared to Melbourne)
38. You’re outside and don’t even notice it’s raining anymore, because it is just simply normal to you by now.
39. You realise that any kind of food can be eaten with anything else, no matter how wierd the combination is.
40. You have six months of holidays in a year.
41. In case you need to get your hands clean, you realise that you only have two options: boil your hands in water near to 90º or see how they become two beauty ice-cubes.
42. N/A
43. N/A
44. You find machines in pubs in which you can buy condoms, vibrators, lubricant and even a Hair Straightener.
45. N/A
46. You ask for a double whisky in a pub and the quantity you’re given is just ridiculous!!
47. You see potatoes everywhere, in all different forms and shapes, i.e. boiled potatoes, jacked potatoes, smashed potatoes, chips, crisps, etc.
48. N/A
49. You realize that no matter how weird the clothes you’re wearing are, people just won’t care.
50. You have hoovered your room at least once.
51. You shake the hand of someone of the opposite sex you’ve just met.
52. N/A
53. You realize that being served alcohol in an academic seminar is completely normal.
54. You learn that 4 cups of tea per day is good for you. (Kept this one in but it doesn’t apply to me…I am not my mother ;))
55. You have stopped questioning why there are carpets even in the bathrooms
56. N/A
57. N/A
58. You have a fire exit in your house.
59. You find yourself breaking into an english accent when trying to order a cuppa tea.
60. N/A
61. N/A
62. N/A
63. N/A
64. “hello/hey, how are you?” is replaced by “you alright?”
65. N/A
66. You realize that burping in the middle of a lecture is something normal.
67. It’s only five and every single shop is closed!
68. You’ve bought something at Argos!!
69. You think it’s normal to sleep on a mattress which was considered old-fashioned crap in Europe 30 years ago.
70. N/A
71. You don’t mind the food anymore…
72. Subway is the healthiest meal you can think of
73. N/A
74. N/A
75. N/A
76. You go to the lectures just for sleeping..lying on the table, chair..it doesnt matter!!!
77. You discover that a simple ticket of the train can vary from a price of 8£ to 30£.. for the same train, time and journey
78. You realize that you have never seen an English Restaurant
79. N/A
80. You’re in the top back part of the bus, and a 9 years old chav asks you for a lighter
81. You realize that British people are queuing politely everywhere except at the bar counter
82. You discover there is a “potato” function on the microwave!!!
83. N/A
84. N/A
85. You see your housemate ordering chinese food or pizzas three times a week
86. You realize that you can get decent (dark, rye, healthy) bread in every European country except for the UK…and no, Toast is not considered a proper kind of bread…..
87. You are no longer suprised to see fans and radiators on at the same time (either in February or June!)
88. You are certainly annoyed by their stupid sockets
89. You realize that every product you buy “may contain trace of nuts”
90. Your sentences begin with..”to be honest”..
91. You are addressed as “treacle, sugarplumb, darling, sweetheart, love, ….” (and all other versions of nicknames in that genre you normally only call your wife/lover) by the staff in supermarkets, pubs and restaurants.
92. You are affected by CCTV paranoia.
93. You can see, on a saturday night, Dancing on ice, strictly come dancing, pop idol, x factor, big brother, big brother celebrity, I’m a celebrity get me out of here (and so on) simultaneously!
94. N/A.
95. You talk about the weather all the time.
96. You hear “WHA” instead of W-H-A-T ! and “THA” instead of T-H-A-T!!!
97. You have asked to borrow ten “quid” instead of ten pounds from someone
98. N/A
99. You have to pull a string to switch on the light or get the water from the shower!!
100. You realize “taking the piss out” of someone is not a medical procedure
101. You realize everybody just gets crazy in a club when Dj plays Mr. Brightside (The Killers), Place your hands (Reef), Don´t Stop me Now (Queen)!!LOL or the Baywatch theme…
102. You have to mind the gap between the train and the platform.

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February 18, 2009 - Posted by | Uncategorized

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